[Teach us!! Ginpachi Sensei]
Teach us!
Ginpachi Sensei
Pen name "Catherine's cat ears are the worst-ever, strongest-ever weapons" writes...
"What is "GinTama" trying to do?
I don't understand what they're doing.
I don't see any kind of goal in this anime."
Okay, here's your answer.
I don't know, either.
It's sad that after two-and-a-half years,
we're still getting postcards like this.
We shouldn't keep dragging on and on. I mean really.
Maybe I should've said something like "I'm going to become the Samurai King!"
[Note: Parody of ONE PIECE.]
So let's use that.
And so, "Catherine's cat ears are the worst-ever, strongest-ever weapons,"
[Note: Gintoki is wearing Luffy's costume from ONE PIECE.]
the goal of GinTama the anime is: "to become the Samurai King!"
[Cattle abduction. In essence: the kidnapping of livestock by aliens.]
[Oh, scary!! Aliens are so scary!!]
["Novices Only Need a Flathead and a Phillips"]
Look at the center of your screen.
Our camera is too far away to see it clearly.
But you can see what appears to be a cow
flying through the air as if it's being sucked into the sky.
[Livestock farmer Zenshichi Toyobe (Age 72)]
I was working, when all of a sudden, the sky lit up.
A glowing saucer came flying down, sucked up my cow and flew off.
I hear Hikohachi over yonder had all of his pigs taken, too.
Who could be doing such a thing?
The Bakufu suspects these to be cases of theft by Amanto thieves
and is conducting an investigation.
Currently, the only damage has been to livestock in farming villages,
but for anybody living in the city-we urge you to lock your doors and be on the alert.
In other news...
How troubling. No telling where thieves will strike from these days.
Cattle abduction in this day and age isn't cool.
A long time ago, before anyone knew Amanto existed,
human beings were abducted and their bodies altered against their will.
Because of incidents like that, people talked about being "spirited away."
The problem was the victims had their memories of the experience erased
so they can't remember what was done to them.
But there were a rare few who did remember and that's why we have these stories today.
There's no telling what those bastards did.
For all you know, you may have already been abducted
and had some strange thing embedded in your body.
After all, you seem like an easy target.
Stop joking. I'm not a kid, so you're not going to scare me.
Gin-san, the TV's acting up again.
This thing is hopeless...really.
That didn't fix it. Maybe its time has come.
Guess we'll have to open it up to fix it.
Gin-san, if you're going to fix it, I have a screwdriver...right here.
Want to use it?
W-Wh-What is t-th-this?!
W-Wh-Why is my finger a Phillips screwdriver?!
C'mon Shinpachi, I know your character is weak,
but that's not the way to go.
[Note: From the anime Cobra.]
If you're going to upgrade your character, at least give yourself a Psycho Gun.
That's so half-assed.
That's not what happened!
Who'd do something like this to upgrade their character?!
You saying you don't remember doing that?
Of course not! Who would choose to do such a thing?!
You're saying you have no idea how it got there?
Did you get abducted?
Could...it be...
That wasn't a dream?
Tonight, I'm having Pacific saury for dinner.
[Note: Pacific saury (mackerel pike) is a type of fish.]
Nothing beats saury in the fall.
Wh...What is that?
It's...
so bright!
How's this one?
No good again.
The size is too big. It doesn't fit the screw.
Good grief, now I can't fix my PS(P).
The analog controller broke while I was playing Mon-Hun.
[Note: Short for PSP game Monster Hunter Portable. Sold as Monster Hunter Freedom in US.]
I'm positive it'd be an easy fix if I took it apart.
I don't think an amateur should disassemble it.
Let's send it to Zony for repair.
[Note: Parody of Sony.]
I don't want someone taking my money.
But I heard if you disassemble it yourself, they won't accept it for repair.
What? Seriously?
What'd you do with the warranty...
that came with it when you bought it?
I probably...
threw it out with the box, uh-oh...
W-Wh-What are you?!
Wh-What is this place?
Uh-oh, he's awake. It's because you talk too loud.
That was you, Senpai.
What...did you do to my finger?!
We don't know anything about that.
What do you mean you don't know?!
You...it's...a Phillips screwdriver now!
It was like that from the start.
Don't lie! You did this! You modified my body!
We didn't. I didn't want to.
Then Senpai said he wanted to take apart the PS(P).
PS(P)?!
I told you not to say anything!
Hey, what do you mean by PS(P)?! Is that the reason why you...?!
No, that's not it at all. We didn't have the right screwdriver, so...
That's totally it!
You could've bought something like that at any hardware shop.
Why did you have to modify my body?!
No, you misunderstand. We had no time to lose...
After all, I knew you'd try to get ahead of me
in Mon-Hun while I couldn't play.
You'd defeat Paoshanron all by yourself to get an awesome item
[Note: Paoshanron is a Parody of Lao Shan Lung from Monster Hunter.]
and give me the "I'm better than you" Senpai look.
I wouldn't do that.
I'd never be able to defeat Paoshanron by myself.
You told me that last time.
Then you defeated Purin alone and got a nice item.
[Note: Parody of Kirin from Monster Hunter.]
Seriously unbelievable.
Who cares?! What're you going to do about my finger?!
Return it to normal! I'll sue you! I'll definitely file charges!
What should we do, Senpai?
I'll give up on the PS(P).
There's supposed to be a new model out.
The one that's Net-enabled. Let's play that one.
You're supposed to be able to transfer your PS(P) data to it.
What'll we do about him?
Throw him out onto the road.
So you're saying they abducted you to modify your finger
into a screwdriver just so they could repair their PS(P)?
Hey, look at me.
It's not funny! How am I supposed to live with a finger like this?
I can't pick my nose or hug the person I love!
You'll be fine.
You'll be able to tighten the screws to the heart of the person you love.
That's just lousy smooth talk.
What do you mean "screws to the heart"?
Forget it. You have ten fingers.
I'm sure it's more convenient that one of them is a screwdriver.
I've got to pee.
Don't say irresponsible things because it's someone else's problem!
'Morning.
Oh, Kagura-chan, look what happened to my finger...
I had a weird dream and didn't sleep very well.
Gin-san! It's Kagura-chan!
Kagura-chan's entire body's been turned into a flathead screwdriver!
C'mon! Are you listening?! Gin-san?
Gin-san?!
...Gin-san?
Not you, too...!
G-Gin-san...n-not you, too?
Patsuan, it's not a crime to kill aliens from outer space, right?
They did it to him! They messed with Gin-san's analog stick!
[Net Cafe]
Unfortunately, the information we have on them is extremely limited.
We don't know what planet those Amanto are from, or where they are now.
All we know is that they're obsessed with Mon-Hun.
Our only hope is to find a clue and trace it back to them.
What is "Mon-Hun"? Is that short for Mongolian hamster?
It's a very popular game throughout the galaxy right now.
Monkey Hunter, a.k.a. Mon-Hun.
[Note: Parody of the game, Monster Hunter.]
It's a game where the player enjoys being a hunter on a planet inhabited
by many types of monster monkeys.
They were playing the PS(P) version
and wanted to switch to the latest online version.
That's fortunate for us.
The online version allows gamers from all over the galaxy
to access a playing field created on the Net.
No matter where those aliens are,
if we conduct our search inside the game, we're bound to meet up with them.
So we'll have to search for them inside the game
where gamers from across the galaxy come together.
That'll be troublesome.
We don't have a choice.
We don't have any other clues,
so this is the only place we can be sure those game-playing aliens will be.
Huh?
We don't have to go through all that hassle.
It'd be faster if we hunted down every single Amanto.
I'll give everyone of them a slow and painful death.
Gin-san's losing it. Do something, Kagura-chan.
Damn right, I'm losing it!
Shinpachi, you were lucky.
Of your ten analog sticks, only one got turned into a screwdriver.
I, on the other hand, have only one in the entire world,
an extremely rare analog stick...
No, joystick...and now it's useless! Eh?
Gin-san, you're too loud.
And what's worse, they changed it into a kind of screwdriver
I've never seen before! What is that? Huh?
It's probably a hex socket screwdriver.
Where am I supposed to use this?!
I have no idea!
They could've at least made it a Phillips or a flathead!
Your stick never had any use, anyway.
It would've been better if it had corroded and fallen off.
A flathead like you would never understand
how a hex socket like me feels!
They won't get away with this...
I'll drag them out of cyberspace and tear their analog sticks apart!
I swear...I swear I'll get my stick back.
Let's go, you guys!
Right!
It's crowded here, so I'll go that way,
and Kagura-chan, you go that way!
We'll meet at the designated place!
Roger!
And so began our battle to restore our bodies.
The curtain is about to rise...
A spectacular battle for survival.
A hunter trusts only...
Himself.
Beat them down...
Or dazzle them with your technique.
Monkey Hunter online!
[Note: Parody of a Monster Hunter online TV commercial.]
Risk your life to hunt them down!
[New Game Load]
Welcome to the world of Monkey Hunter.
This is the adventure of your dreams where hunters from all across the galaxy gather.
Please exercise proper Netiquette
to ensure this is an enjoyable experience for all.
All right, please create your avatar for this world.
I see. I have to start by creating
I wonder if Gin-san and Kagura are doing okay.
I shouldn't use my real name. My avatar needs...
Oh yes, glasses.
Okay, I'll go with this.
Sure looks like me. How common is my appearance?
Wow, there sure are a lot of people.
They're all players of this game. Awesome.
Those aliens are definitely in here somewhere.
I'll find them and restore my body!
Gin-san and Kagura are late. I told them to meet me at this spot.
Hi.
Someone approached me.
It's a girl.
Are you a beginner at this game?
I'm a beginner, too.
What do you say? Would you like to go hunting with me?
Wow! She invited me. What'll I do?
What is this awkward feeling? It's as if she's asking me out.
What should I do? I feel kinda happy, though.
No...but Gin-san and Kagura are here, too.
I can't go girl-hunting. I don't have a choice.
I'm sorry. I'm expecting someone.
I see. Too bad...
Oh, by the way, I'm in a bind right now.
Would you mind giving me an item?
I wouldn't mind, but I just started the game myself, so I don't have much.
That's all right. It's an item everyone has.
Give me your balls!
Gin-san?!
Are you still hung up over your analog stick?!
Give them to me, I said!
Hey! He keeps punching me in the crotch!
Stop it! Gin-san, we're comrades! Come on!
This is a game where we defeat the monkeys
and take their items to strengthen our armaments!
What're you trying to take?!
Shut up, four-eyed monkey!
You're totally in a "take-your-anger-out-on-anyone" mood, dammit.
Pisses me off.
How long are you going to feel sorry for yourself?
You lost your analog stick, so now you're an online tranny?!
Are you stupid or something?
I didn't create this avatar because I was down on myself.
Listen, we're not here to play around.
We're here to find those rotten Amanto, right?
Isn't this form more suitable for gathering information
than some shabby dude?
I see! Just what I'd expect of you, Gin-san!
Gamers are gonna be kids who are wet behind the ears,
desperate for girls, and stuck in a room littered with tissues.
I figure if I went with a sexy look, they'd be pushovers.
Now then, time to gather some information.
How 'bout this?
Lets look for strong-looking veterans who've been playing this game a long time.
Oh!
That guy over there looks good.
He looks really strong.
He's probably played over 100 hours.
Excuse me, can I ask you a question?
What is it?
It's you!
That you, Gin-chan?
Why does someone who just started playing look like a veteran warrior?
What's that scar on your face? Who gave you that?
Kagura-chan, where'd you get those fine weapons?
I'm a hunter. I get what I want from the hunt.
Hunt? But you just started. How did you...?
Excuse me.
I'm sorry. We've already formed our party.
We don't need any more members.
No, we're the administrators of this game.
We received a report that a hunter was attacked
and stripped of his clothes and equipment in a back alley nearby.
Do you know anything about it?
Ugh!
Don't rob them!
Mmm... Looks Tasty!
[Note: Parody of Monster Hunter. "Mmm... Looks Tasty!" voice is heard when player barbecues a well-done steak.]
Don't barbeque him!
What're you doing?!
This is a game where you hunt monkeys!
It's not a game where hunters hunt hunters!
First-rate hunters aren't picky about their targets.
You guys aren't hunters! You're nothing but bandits!
Ack! Trouble!
The administrators are trying to oust us because we broke the rules!
If they catch us, we'll never be able to play this game again! Run!
A very interesting group has joined the game.
What should we do?
[Patsuan - Hunter's knife wielder]
After what we did, we can't return to the town.
[Ginko - Great sword wielder]
How're we going to gather information about the alien gamers?
And we're out in a field where
[Kaguura Jasuanto - Dual sword wielder]
there's no telling when the monkeys might attack.
Do you understand? Now that the game administrators are after us,
if we lose and the game ends even once,
we'll never be able to access this game again.
Shut up. I know that.
Kagura, your long sword has been bumping against my knees.
It's getting in my way.
I'm not Kagura. I'm Kaguura Jasuanto.
[Note: Probably a wordplay on Giant from André the Giant.]
What's a Kaguura Jasuanto?
Are you serious?
Sounds like a name a middle-schooler would think of.
That's totally the failure pattern
of a novice sending in their entry to a manga competition.
You know, the way they over-think things to the point where
the readers can't remember the name of the characters.
Shut up, Mr. No-balls!
What do you mean "Mr. No-balls"?! Huh?!
I swear I'll restore my body to the way it was!
Come on, both you-stop it.
Anyway, since we can't go back to town,
we have no choice but to keep moving forward.
We'll keep hunting to the very end.
Hunt?
That's right. This is a game where the players enjoy hunting the enemy.
If we go to a high-level area, we'll find equally high-level hunters.
In other words, we'll be able to meet all kinds of people
who've played this game for tons of hours.
We're bound to find hunters who know about the alien Gamers.
Hey, aren't you the one who said we're done for if the game ends?
Then we should become allies with the hunters we meet.
We'll get information, and kill two birds with one stone.
And if all goes well, we might even bump into the alien Gamers.
Yes! We should start by making allies.
Excuse me. We're novices at this game.
Won't you play with us?
Not that one! That's the enemy!
Run!
Hurry! Hurry!
Gin-san! What item do we need to get past him?
This was amongst the things we took from the security squad!
A tainted banana?!
[Note: Parody of Tainted Meat from Monster Hunter.]
I get it-if we throw this at the monkey and get him to eat it,
he'll be paralyzed.
Okay, here!
Eat this!
[Note: Now Loading background is a parody of Monster Hunter.]
Why'd you eat it?!
It was a trap.
It's not a trap for you! It's a trap meant for the beast!
Never mind me. Go quickly.
Become a good...hunter...
Kagura-chan!
Gin-san, at this rate, the game is going to end for Kagura-chan.
Lure the enemy this way.
What's that...?!
A pit. We'll use these bananas as bait and then pummel him.
Over here, you stupid monkey! Come here! That's it!
Yeah, we're right here!
What are you doing here?!
How'd you get here when you're paralyzed?!
What is this obsession you have with bananas?!
At least in the game I get to eat my fill.
What a sorry thing to say. You make me wanna cry!
I'm sorry...it's all my fault. I'm so sorry.
Gin-san! The enemy!
Who's that...?
[Teach us!! Ginpachi Sensei Encore]
Teach us!
Ginpachi Sensei
This time, we have a question from pen name
"I can't watch in real time in Shizuoka city, so I buy the DVDs and watch them instead."
"Who is the person that brush paints the titles for each episode?
I looked in the credits but couldn't find him.
They're beautifully written!"
Okay, here's your answer.
They're painted by a producer at Sunrise named Wakanabe.
He studied calligraphy when he was younger,
but then drank too much liquor.
That's why he can't write the titles in a straight line.
Just FYI, he says he wouldn't mind getting a hug from Joe Odagiri.
[Note: Joe Odagiri is a popular young actor.]
[Correct: "There's a Thin Line Between Strengths and Weaknesses"]
In the preview for episode 102, he made a mischievous mistake.
[Incorrect: Good Points and Bad Points Are Hard to See]
Okay, Wakanabe,
so you don't get bigheaded because someone praised your calligraphy,
go and stand out in the hall!
[Preview]
Yo! Kaguura Jasuanto here.
Next time, the sad story behind the scar on my face and
the cursed bloodline that became
the reason for this journey of revenge will be revealed!
No, it won't!
The next episode... "Imagination Is Nurtured In the 8th Grade."
[In order to find hunter allies, the group travels through the world of Mon-Hun.]
[There, they find the legendary hunter, "M."]